Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
