Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
