Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
