Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
