He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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