Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
