Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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