The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
