What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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