So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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