I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
