what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
