I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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