whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
