Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
