using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
