hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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