His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize