Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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