Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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