saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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