Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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