yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
