the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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