i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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