i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
