Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
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He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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