I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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