Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's never too late to be topless.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
