you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
