My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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