If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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