I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
