What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
