If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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