So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
