Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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