i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
