Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
