I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this will be a night to untag.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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