what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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