i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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