No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
