i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
