Kiss
Puke
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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