well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
