Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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