I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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