So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
