i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
