Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
