i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
