what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
