Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize