Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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