hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've blown a few things in my day
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
