Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
