it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
