There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
