I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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