I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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