so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
