Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
