In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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