I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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