now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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