I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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