I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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